Dr. Jan’s LifeWise Words of Wisdom

Love and Politics: How Successful Couples Manage Their Differences

Political differences can strain even the strongest relationships. This article offers practical insights from a marriage therapist on how to navigate these challenges. Learn to pause, pay attention to your reactions, and regulate your emotions. Discover how mindfulness and self-awareness can help you maintain a loving relationship despite opposing political views.

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Self-Compassion is the New Self-Esteem: How to Not Be So Mean to Yourself.

Discover how three simple questions at the end of each therapy session can dramatically improve your counseling experience. This article delves into the concept of self-compassion, debunking common misconceptions and offering practical exercises. Learn how cultivating self-compassion can lead to better relationships, improved self-esteem, and a more fulfilling life.

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Estranged From Your Adult Child? Try These New Evidence-Based Strategies

Family estrangement, particularly ghosting parents, is more common than you might think. This article delves into the latest research on adult child estrangement, offering evidence-based strategies for reconciliation. Learn how to navigate the complex emotions of being cut off and discover practical steps towards rebuilding relationships with estranged adult children.

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Do This To Save Your Marriage — Part 2: Learn to Complain Well

Discover the power of effective complaining in saving your marriage. Learn the subtle differences between complaints and criticism, and how to express your concerns without damaging your relationship. This article provides practical, research-backed strategies to improve communication and strengthen your bond with your partner.

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Do This to Save Your Marriage: How to Stay Calm and Speak Up.

Explore how staying calm and speaking up non-defensively can transform your marriage. This real-life case study illustrates the power of emotional regulation in resolving conflicts. Learn practical techniques to manage your emotions, communicate effectively, and create a stronger, more resilient relationship with your spouse.

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Blindsided by Estrangement: Can You Love Your Child Right Out of Your Life?

Delve into the perplexing world of adult child estrangement. This article explores the unexpected causes behind this growing trend, including the impacts of intensive parenting and changing family dynamics. Discover strategies for coping with the pain of estrangement and learn approaches for potential reconciliation.

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Dead Certain You're Unhappy, But Dead Set Against Divorce?

Trapped in an unhappy marriage but reluctant to divorce? This article challenges the stay-or-leave dichotomy, presenting research-backed alternatives for finding happiness. Discover how to improve your relationship, focus on personal growth, or consider therapeutic separation. Learn to navigate marital challenges with a fresh perspective.

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How to Have a Breakthrough Without Going Through a Breakdown

Ever wondered why therapy can feel unsettling yet rewarding? This article delves into the neuroscience of change, explaining why discomfort often precedes breakthroughs. Learn about the RAIN technique and how it can help you navigate personal growth without overwhelming stress. Discover how to embrace change and achieve meaningful transformations.

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Estranged: When Holidays Hurt

Holidays can be particularly painful for parents estranged from adult children. Dr. Jan Anderson provides compassionate insight into this 'silent epidemic,' offering strategies to cope, maintain hope, and work towards reconnection. Learn how to navigate this challenging time while fostering personal growth and resilience.

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Dr. Jan's Memes: A Quick Jolt of Media Therapy.

Dr. Jan Anderson revolutionizes therapy with her popular memes, offering 'quick jolts of media therapy' for daily life. These visual nuggets of wisdom provide practical tips and life hacks in a format that's short, powerful, and memorable. Explore how these 'small moments of visual therapy' can transform your perspective and improve your mental wellbeing.

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The Upside of a Self-Absorbed Mother

In this candid reflection, Dr. Jan Anderson uncovers the surprising benefits of growing up with a self-absorbed mother. Through poignant anecdotes and professional insights, she illustrates how challenging childhood experiences can cultivate resilience, independence, and self-awareness. Discover how embracing the complexities of difficult family dynamics can lead to personal growth and emotional healing.

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Crushing It in Your Career: When Being Smart Isn't Enough

Discover why being smart and talented isn't always enough to land your dream job. Dr. Jan Anderson shares insights on the often-overlooked skill of interpersonal intelligence and how it can be the game-changer in your career. Learn practical strategies to enhance your professional presence, ace interviews, and stand out in a competitive job market.

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How to Ask for Help When You're a Perfectionist

Perfectionists, take heart! Dr. Jan Anderson offers a candid look at her own struggle with perfectionism while writing a book, revealing valuable strategies for seeking help without compromising your self-image. Learn how to reframe 'asking for help' as a strength, not a weakness, and discover face-saving techniques that make reaching out for support more palatable. This insightful guide shows how even the most accomplished professionals can benefit from counseling and coaching.

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The Argument Antidote

Think some conflicts are unsolvable? Think again. Dr. Jan Anderson shares insights from relationship experts on how to navigate perpetual disagreements without damaging your partnership. Learn practical, counterintuitive techniques to address issues constructively, enhance communication, and strengthen your bond. Discover why love alone isn't enough and how mastering these skills can transform your relationship, even when facing seemingly insurmountable differences.

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Suicidal Thoughts? They're Not a Good Predictor of Suicide

Suicidal thoughts are more common than you might think, but they're not always the best predictor of suicide attempts. Dr. Jan Anderson delves into the nuances of suicide prevention, sharing professional insights and personal experiences. Learn why connection trumps technique in crisis intervention, how to approach someone in distress, and the surprising role of the 'inner critic' in suicidal ideation. This compassionate exploration offers a fresh perspective on supporting those struggling with thoughts of suicide.

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My Father, Money and Me

Our relationship with money often has deep roots in childhood experiences. Dr. Jan Anderson offers a candid look at how her father's approach to finances shaped her own attitudes, and how mindfulness meditation unveiled these unconscious patterns. Journey through her personal and professional insights on financial resilience, forgiveness, and breaking generational cycles. This introspective piece provides valuable perspectives on understanding and transforming our complex relationships with money.

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When Mother’s Day Hurts

Mother's Day can be a heart-wrenching time for mothers estranged from their adult children. Dr. Jan Anderson delves into this 'silent epidemic,' offering profound insights on why traditional reconciliation methods often backfire and how to navigate this painful journey. Learn counterintuitive yet effective strategies for coping, from backing off to honoring other mothers, and discover how to maintain hope while working towards possible reconnection. This compassionate guide provides a lifeline for those grappling with the complex emotions of parent-child estrangement.

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Boost Your Coping Skills with Both/And Thinking: The Pandemic and Beyond

In a world of polarizing viewpoints, both/and thinking offers a powerful alternative. Dr. Jan Anderson delves into this transformative cognitive approach, sharing insights from personal experiences and mentors. Discover how expanding your 'container' to hold conflicting ideas can lead to better decision-making, improved relationships, and enhanced resilience in times of crisis. Whether you're navigating personal conflicts or global uncertainties, this guide provides practical strategies to cultivate a more nuanced and adaptable mindset.

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The Easiest Way to Change Something About Yourself

Struggling with personal dilemmas? Dr. Jan Anderson reveals surprising insights on how we can change faster and more easily than previously thought. Discover the three key ingredients that make profound personal transformation possible in months, not years. This guide challenges traditional views on personality traits, offering hope and practical strategies for those seeking meaningful change in their lives, relationships, and personal habits.

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